david02’s Blog

Still Going (a story about my father)

Inspiration.  I work harder for my dad than I do for anyone else.  Why, I still don’t know.  Our views have changed and contrasted dramatically over the last few years, and for all intensive purposes I would be just fine staying at my mom’s house for the duration of my childhood.  When I go to dad’s, my journey always starts with a sigh, and a “well, here goes nothin’,” and ends with a “I’m glad to be back at mom’s,”  but my father is still somehow my hero.  Somehow.

Flawless.  That is the best word to summarize the relationship between my father and me.  Or at least until August 31, 2005.   I came home from the state fair, and sensed some unrest.  My dad was eager to get to my sister and me first, before my mom.  He gave us both a big hug, but it wasn’t like any hug I’d received before.  It was a selfish, politician-like hug.  It was not being used to express love; it was a “get David on my side hug.”  We then went to our best friend at the time, a twenty-one year old college point guard, named Stacey, and got a hug from her…mom was an afterthought.  When we finally got to mom,  she was in tears.  I asked her what was wrong, and got the usual, “Nothing my boy, how was your day?” My dad then thundered from the other room, “Tell him the truth Shannon!  You tell him what you did!”

I was bewildered.  There had been riffs in the marriage before, but once again, it was a different feeling this time.  When my mom and I got to the car, I asked if this was the end.  She said it might be.  She reassured me that she was willing to try to work things out, and I didn’t doubt that. I did however, fear what was to come.  Fear.  That was all that I had.  Fear, and love for my parents.  After a long drive, we reached the sports center, and met up with the other three there. Dad was still very standoffish.  I asked him if he was willing to work on things, and got back a crushing, “maybe.”  My sister Dree, Dad, Stacey and I played  a game of 2-on-2 basketball,  while my mom watched in tears.  After we played, Mom tried to talk to Dad, and the conversation escalated.  Then it came…

“File the papers,” Dad roared, “If you don’t, I will!”

It was like a gunshot.  My ears rung, I felt disoriented, not able to believe what my hero had just let the world hear.  The next morning, my dad came home, and told us that he had “feelings for Stacey.” 

That was the nail in the coffin.  Our relationship was torn forever.

After all of this, I still cannot deny that that man was my hero for the first thirteen years of my life, and still has a great shot to win me over again. Maybe he already has. Maybe.